Worst Dates Series #1: The Traveling Guy

Being called The Welsh Bridget Jones at the age of 25, is that a compliment or an insult?

Will I end up 43 years old dancing around my living room in a onesie singing love songs to my Bengal cat?

Or more importantly, will I find my Mark Darcy?

I date quite a bit, more than the average woman- just because I guess I can? I have no commitments, no ties and there is always a possibility of free food. However, my dating history has been one that my friends just could not believe. I was aware the guys I dated were unusual, weird to say the least so that every date I have been on deserves to be written about.

See Also: 7 Secrets for a Successful Long Distance Relationship 

For about 6 months, I had been speaking to this guy “Alex” who was in the middle of traveling the world.

facetime dating

He would FaceTime me or ring me most nights of the week, sending me flowers for my birthday and telling me how much he wanted to see me when he got back.

I’m going to be honest here- I was dating other people… Obviously?

He was 2937261 km away. A girl’s got to keep her options open.

Anyway, 6 months of texting back & forth… Countless boring as s**t photos received of mountains, clouds, and castles (I get it.. You’re traveling), he finally comes home. I go to meet him and bring my puppy. Now, ladies, everyone knows that a puppy is extremely beneficial when it comes to dates.

beach walking

We go for a walk down the beach. I’m dressed up, got ma hair did, and strappy top (it’s f*****g freezing as it was in the middle of October) and I’m cursing myself while the sea air frizzed up my already afro hair.

From my point of view, the date goes 8/10. My dog farts on his lap but I found it funny even though he was dry heaving the majority of the way home.

Now… I’ve spent SIX months being pretend-faithful to this dude. I’ve been listening to him talk about every single thing he did in his day. I rarely get a chance to say anything because he speaks about his trip for the entire 240 minutes we were together.

We get home and he pies me off. I get this text. He doesn’t want any sort of commitment. He wants to go “traveling” again. Of course he bloody does!

So I’m raving, tamping, fuming obviously.

A month goes past… Anyway who the devil pops up. Mr. Waste YO time.

I didn’t reply.

It’s been 7 months. He hasn’t gone traveling.

Moral of the story. Don’t spend 6 months talking to a dude traveling who doesn’t appreciate dog farting humour.

See Also: The Dos and Don’ts of a First Date for Men 

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